Identifying the intrinsic from extrinsic motivations

there were multiple times this week where I felt out of touch with my body, and my inner Self. it is difficult to separate the noise from my own voice, my own joys and desires being entwined with societal expectations, where I perceive my goals through society's eyes.

(sometimes, i unconsciously enjoy not making decisions because the world of possibility would not have yet collapsed - suspended in quantum superposition, prior to wave function collapse and all)

however, rather than framing it as a tension between intrinsic and extrinsic motivations, what if our selves are meant to be an aggregate of both?

say, my long-term goal is to be of XXX position at Company X so that I can make an impact on something. intrinsically, is this something I want? at which point did i adopt the voice of society?

at the same time, we cannot neglect the influence of society and culture in the development of self. it is perhaps a careful invitation of extrinsic factors to guide your intrinsic voice - after all, we exist not in isolation from other light and conscious beings & other systemic structures. it's about identifying how to live your best possible life within such constraints.

exercises I practice to clear the noise:

  • Make a list of "what is important to me" and continuously update it
  • In another column, make a list of "what I do not care about/for"
  • Meditate, Deep Breaths, Moments of "Dropping Everything"

also, on another note, i've been thinking about how to organise this space, and how the writings should be framed, organised, displayed for you. highly related to the state of being and mind i'm in now, of flux and possibilities. currently feel like wan